Getting moderately happier

Call of the wild - a little time outdoors can improve both your mood and sleep patterns. Not related, I took this pic up the Orongorongo Valley (NZ) a few years ago - check out all the epiphytes hanging in this tree! Image: Louise Thomas

Life has delivered me a few sucker punches this year. So much so that I have been unusually paralysed – words not written, books half read, drawings started and not finished, exercise not taken, Sunday baking for school lunches forgotten about, etc.

In other words, a case of situational depression that probably isn’t going to go away by itself.

In desperation I went to my GP to enquire about counselling, but he wanted to put me on antidepressants – counselling was mind-blowingly expensive he informed me. Drugs were effective and cheap, and a nine-month course would have me back to my “old self” tout de suite.

Unfortunately, and somewhat ironically, I’m cursed by being an atheist (no higher power to turn to), a part-time cynic (the self-help books I’ve been reading are mostly stress-inducing crap filled with unobtainable standards), and I also carry a healthy suspicion about the side-effects of long-term drug taking.

The problem with drugs is I just don’t like messing with my brain – finely-honed tool that it is. Despite wanting to flip an off switch on some of the anguish it’s causing me right now.

And the problem with counselling is I doubt another human being’s intellectual capacity to provide unique insights into my particular problems. Not that my problems are unique, far from it.

Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that my naïve happyish “old self” might have been part of the problem in the first place. Perhaps a return to it is not actually desirable.

Finally, I suspect that, like death and taxes, some grief in life is unavoidable.

But I’m sick of wallowing – life is too precious to waste on unhealthy self-absorption. Speaking of crap self-help books, endorsement of wallowing is just one of the reasons I think the concept of personal dairies or journaling is just over-rated introspection of the worst kind (it’s worse than the scrap-booking craze, which thankfully seems to have died down, for wasting one’s life). Not that writing isn’t cathartic – indeed there are some studies that suggest that targeted, time-limited, writing about your problems helps to objectify them and suggest solutions. It’s the reason for this blog post actually. Just don’t wallow. There’s a whole world out there way more fascinating than you are – go be in it.

I accept that I can’t change past events – I had no control over them in any case (actually a feeling of lack of control over events and other’s behaviours is an identified cause of depression – that feeling of helplessness. In most cases we can only seek to control our own responses and attitudes towards events/other people).

Being a science writer, I’ve decided to tackle my emotional problems based on actual scientific studies. After all, a few rogue studies and dishonest researchers aside, if you can’t trust peer-reviewed journals, who can you trust?

The call of the wild

Henry David Thoreau once famously wrote: “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Ignoring the fact that Thoreau was in walking distance to a village and had his laundry sent out for cleaning (he was really glamping for two years while he drafted Walden), the idea of getting back to nature to combat life’s malaise is not misplaced at all.

The quote reminds me of a study I wrote about a couple of years back, Great outdoors resets biological clocks, where researchers at the Sleep and Chronobiology Laboratory at the University of Colorado, showed that when exposed to natural light without the interference of artificial lights, humans’ internal biological clocks will tightly synchronise to a natural, midsummer light-dark cycle – they effectively cured insomnia by taking subjects camping for a week (no torches or smart phones allowed).[1]

So what’s a sleep study got to do with helping my situational depression? Quite a lot, as far as I’m concerned. The researchers found that in the wild, melatonin (the stuff that makes you feel sleepy) levels rise in the early evening and then taper off before a person wakes up. But in our modern world, melatonin levels tend to decrease to daytime levels about two hours after we wake up. “In other words, our biological night extends past our wake time and contributes to why many of us are at our sleepiest soon after we wake up in the morning. With exposure to natural light, that decrease in melatonin shifts to the last hour of sleep time, then brain arousal rises earlier, likely helping people feel more alert in the morning,” writes lead researcher Professor Kenneth Wright.

It has also been well established that exposure to sunlight increases serotonin levels, which could make you happier. A bit of a turn outside is usually recommended for those suffering from SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder – but recommending a brisk walk may seem shallow in the face of over-whelming anxiety and would hardly fill the pages of a self-help book would it?

Frankly, I could do with feeling more alert, getting some better quality sleep, and a bit of sunlight. In practice, it’s midwinter here in New Zealand. Camping is definitely out – even if I knew where the tent I haven’t seen for four years was. But is there a modified form?

I’ll go for a trot along the beach and have a think about it. See if I can’t come up with a solution.

Funny update: On the way out to find myself, I was pulled over by the local constabulary at 7.45am in the morning on some deserted back streets for failing to come to a complete stop at a stop sign on a clear-visibility T intersection. They must have been bored staking out the intersection, I couldn’t even imagine what they were pulling me over for – I drive like a deferential Nana. I was given a $150 fine and 25 demerit points on my licence (my first ever in over 30 years of driving). Who said the universe doesn’t have a perverse sense of humour. I’m too scared to leave the house now.

I’ll try something else and report back – perhaps a few Terry Pratchett books or Monty Python for a bit of laughter therapy in the safety of my lounge.

#situational depression, #making happiness

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[1] K.P. Wright et al. (2013). Entrainment of the human circadian clock to the natural light-dark cycle. Current Biology. Published online August 1, 2013. doi: 10.1016/j.cub.2013.06.039. Print edition: September 7, 2013; Vol.184 #5 (p. 10)

The misreporting of science in the media

"Coffee today is like God in the Old Testament". Image: Michelangelo (fresco in the Sistine Chapel).

The ever-humorous John Oliver tackles the problem of how scientific studies are portrayed in the media. Sometimes though, it isn't all their fault, research companies themselves can be guilty of initially misrepresenting findings by sensationalising and dumbing-down the science to make it "sell", then what follows can become a game of Chinese whispers. My favourite quote from John in this segment: "Coffee today is like God in the Old Testament, it will either save you or kill you depending on how much you believe in its magic powers."

John Oliver: Scientific Studies

Doodle afternoon

Light as a feather, by Louise Thomas, May 2016.

I don't doodle enough. I suffer from lack of patience sometimes - it takes too long to get what's in my head out on paper, or the results aren't as I saw them in my mind's eye, so I'm easily put off. I'm constantly abandoning half-finished projects, in pursuit of other seemingly more interesting ones, suffering from what Alvin Toffler described as "overchoice” in Future Shock - a 1970s social critique that hasn't lost legitimacy (indeed the rate of technology change in the decades since Toffler's lament gives him kudos for his prescience). Besides, I could be wasting my time doodling, when I should be working on some fee-paying client's stuff. Which is a somewhat ironic train of thought, as I waste heaps of time mucking around reading friend's Facebook posts and looking at pictures of their food, or watching crime shows on TV and speculating on whodunit. All well and good in moderation, but I can't help but feel that it's all time when I could have been making myself better at something - when did the patience to follow my passions get sucked out of me by mass media distractions? 

I suspect that in the last few years I might have become a little bit boring and there have been times when I haven't been too keen on myself or on my life's achievement to date. Getting distracted by stuff helps me to be, well, distracted from myself. But not today. Today I carped the snot out of the diem, I finished up a client's web updates, mopped the disgusting kitchen floor, then had a doodle afternoon - very happy with the feather. Did this blog post. Now I'm going to make a cup of tea and work on my novel. There are good days and bad I guess. This day is a good one. I hope your's was as well.

Pareidolia? No way, that really is a smiley face

Image: Mars Global Surveyor (1999), NASA.

I had a great time at the Tour of the Planets conference over the weekend. Life being what it is (having to coach netball on the Saturday) meant I only arrived fifteen minutes before I was due to go on, but my Wandering planets and the seven-day week talk went off okay, even if I had to wing it a bit when discussing "Sunday" as I'd lost my notes for that particular slide. 

I had a bit of friendly heckling from a couple of astronomers sitting off to the side of the lecture hall (Richard Hall and Ian Cooper - you know who you are), who reminded me of the two old guys out of the Muppets, and I told them so at the time. I also had a native Greek speaker (George Moutzouris) sitting in the front row, when, as my luck would have it, my talk was littered with unpronounceable Greek names - which I proceeded to murder in traditional Kiwi fashion. But, far from being a problem, the audience participation in the talk only served to make it more interesting and dynamic, and at least I knew they were listening (unlike the chap right down the back who definitely had his eyes shut). Would I do it again? Absolutely! Getting people clapping after you talk is a powerful endorsement. I felt pretty good afterwards, especially when a few people cornered me at the tea table later and wanted copies of the slides.

I managed to catch a couple of talks after mine, I especially loved a talk by Richard Hall on the Martian Chronicles. At one point he was talking about pareidolia, a human need to see pattern in random data, the reason why we see faces in things like clouds and trees etc. He had a series of quite famous photos of the Martian surface which showed images that we have identified as having "things" in them - like a woman sitting on a rock, hearts, a finger, Mickey Mouse, WWII helmets, faces, etc. 

Image: NASA / JPL-Caltech / MSSS file

He showed an image of Mars' Galle crater which I have no memory of ever seeing before. Made me smile, I can tell you. If there is a supreme being - they have a sense of humour.

Continental drift

Things I do when I should be writing my wandering planets speech.

The wandering planets and the seven-day week

A waning gibbous Moon, 15 April 2016 - Lower Hutt, NZ. Photo: Louise Thomas

Celestial observations to mark the passing of time have been used since the dawn of human kind. Early humans counted off the number of Suns to mark the days, followed by the changing phases of the Moon, which repeats approximately every 30 days, to mark longer periods, after all, it was easy to count the number of full or new moons that elapsed since or leading up to some big event. We observed seasons and the changing patterns of the Sun and star movements to mark the passing of a year, and from prehistory used this not only for migration, hunting and agricultural planning, but to mark how old our children were and to record and observe their transition into adulthood. These early observations of the world around and sky above of course laid the foundations for development of the calendar, that, with some variations throughout history, we would eventually use to divide the year into months, weeks and days. But what are the origins of the seven-day week as a division of time? It seems that this too, at least in ancient European and Mesopotamian cultures, was also rooted in astronomical observations.

I'll have the pleasure of giving a talk about the origins of the seven-day week and the significance of the order of the days at an upcoming astronomy conference on 13-15 May at Stonehenge Aotearoa in New Zealand's beautiful Wairarapa. Great dark skies and plenty of chance for observing if the weather holds - it's been a beautiful autumn so far, with plenty of opportunity for observing the planets. Jupiter in particular has been holding sway in the early evening in the Northern sky. The conference will be a great opportunity for me to show off my newly developed astrophotography skills.

Procrastination and grabbing the great big fish

I was really looking for a fish photo, but this one of my daughter, having walked 7km to a lighthouse, kind of captured what I was looking for - a sort of "seize the day" feel. They just all looked a bit horrified in the fish photos.

How do you get motivated to write? I’ve seen all sorts of ideas floating around on the internet. Some are good, but some, when you really get down to brass tacks, are a waste of time (pun intended) – at least for me.

An idea that pops up often involves using peer pressure, that is, if you tell your friends and family about your writing goals, you’ll be forced to see it through. A more sophisticated idea along the same theme involves having a writing partner, that you might perhaps swap chapters with, so that you can keep each other “on task”.

Personally, I'm not a fan. Sometimes, I find telling people about my plans puts pressure on that I shy away from - I dissipate my forward energy. The thing might never happen and I’ve set myself up for embarrassment. I like to present things when I've published them - the "Ta-dah!" moment is great. They don’t even have to read said works if they don’t want to – I don’t need the validation and I don’t think it’s fair to force loved ones to read stuff they have no interest in.

I found early on in my career, that sometimes telling people your writing ambitions can expose a fragile plan to cold water. This can be especially crippling if the person is someone you share baggage with – like a parent. They mean well, but, frankly, they probably have no idea about your industry, so why are you even discussing it with them (unless, of course, they are loving and supportive)?

Another idea to overcome procrastination is to create a “happy place” to work in. One needs to create a loving and nurturing work environment, perhaps with a bit of whale song in the background and some scented candles. It sounds amazing and I’d love to get me one of those, but it’s another idea that doesn’t work for me – frankly, if I’m mucking around tidying my desk it’s usually another form of procrastination. It’s a way of feeling busy without actually getting anything done. These days I only tidy my desk when things have reached critical mass, I can’t find stuff, and I find myself getting sucked inward from the gravitational pull. Having said that, it might be time again; my husband came in with a cup of tea this morning and told me my office was like a scene from Britain's Biggest Hoarders and he was thinking of staging an intervention shortly.

Also, if you are serious about writing, you pretty much have to be able to do it anywhere. Some of my best stuff happens with a notebook perched on a car steering wheel waiting outside schools, sports training, etc. Don’t waste your wait time.

People talk about setting deadlines. I find this works where the publisher and/or editor have set a deadline – after all, you have to deliver or you wouldn’t be in business long. But, when the goals are more personal, like drafting that first novel, to paraphrase Douglas Adams, deadlines just tend to make a whooshing sound as they whizz by. Sometimes, small self-imposed deadliness can work okay for me, like working without getting a cup of tea for half an hour, or writing 500 words.

Over the years I’ve suffered from the whole spectrum of procrastination, ranging from the being mildly distracted and deciding mid-sentence to clean the grout in the shower, to the crippling kind, where I felt nothing but fear and self-loathing.

To get me out of a funk and moving again, I’ve come up with a few things that work for me, they might work for you too.

1. Switch projects. Take a break, work on something else – even if it isn’t paying work (what do you think this blog is). Just get the words flowing again.

2. Turn off your email – if it’s really important they’ll ring. Turn it on again in the evening when you’re ready for a break.

3. Turn off your phone. Your mother can leave a message – call her back in the evening, don’t let other people eat into your work time.

4. Start anywhere. I don’t know how people got on pre-computer days, endless longhand drafts I guess. These days you can start anywhere, even the end. If you have a chapter, scene, or even a line you want to use – start with that bit in the corner, then work backwards, sideways, forwards. It will all come together eventually.

5. Have a notebook – always. I’ve lost count of the pearls of wisdom I’ve forgotten before they were committed to paper. The only thing I remember is telling myself, “I won’t forget that one, that’s a good one.”

6. Lie to yourself. I should have put this one first. This is the all-time best strategy for me. Tell yourself, “It’s alright, there’s no pressure, just sit down and write for ten minutes – then you can go do some thing else.”

Don’t look at the big picture – some magazine editor waiting for 3000 words, or some book you’re writing that you’ve only managed to pull 5000 words together on in two months. If you sit down to write for ten minutes, you’ll get into the swing and wind up doing more than you planned. You’ll also feel pleased with yourself, which is an added bonus.

7. Give up on perfectionism for the sake of progress. If you’re having trouble even getting started, you’re probably over thinking it. You can always edit later (Yay – computers!). As Ray Bradbury famously said, “Don’t think. Don’t try. Just do”, a quote which reminds me of Yoda who said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.” – of course, he was talking about levitating stuff with your Jedi mind, but the philosophy is applicable.

8. Think about the future: Who do you want to be? I’ve got a cousin who had a terrible life as a teenager; he got addicted to drugs and spent time in prison – with all the horror and violence you can imagine associated with that. But you wouldn’t recognize him now; he’s completely turned his life around. He started studying in prison and finished his PhD when he got out. He runs his own company now and has a family he is proud of. He’s not a writer for a living, but he wrote something recently that a writer could sure use when thinking about their own motivations. I’m editing it (cos that’s what I do), but he said as he achieved small goals, an idea of who he aspired to be emerged – he saw himself as his future self. When he was confronted with temptations or in bad situations that might result in poor choices by his old self, he asked himself what would his aspirational self do in this situation.

Maybe as writers our temptations aren’t as extreme – unless you’re Lewis Carol or Stephen King – but, who do you want to be? If the answer is “a writer”, and you’re absolutely convinced of this, words are your passion, etc., etc., you aren’t going to get there unless you actually sit down and write. It can be a hard lonely road.

9. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. If you’re tired or you have a sore bum, take a walk. You’ll write better when you get back.

10. Find inspiration. I never used to be a fan of putting inspirational quotes on walls, I always thought it was flaky New Age mumbo jumbo, but lately they’ve been creeping onto post-its and sticking themselves where I can see them. Admittedly, my teenage daughter stuck the Yoda one up after she saw the Ray Bradbury quote, but I left it because I liked it. Another one that I’ve just come across is the very last line of Terry Pratchett’s book Monstrous Regiment. I nearly cried when I read it – it just spoke to something deep in my soul:

"And the new day was a great big fish."